I pray and I pray so hard, that God will help me to do more than just survive one day at a time. But this is all I can manage now.
I am 33, yes but I still have sleep terrors. The kind of sleep terrors that shove you unexpectedly into fight or flight mode, leaving you filled with sheer dread. It is a kind of terror I can only try to describe. But you never forget it. even if you’ve not idea what you’re terrified of.
Some of us I think are prone to revisiting the same dark places. Maybe down to past traumas that stay with us, genes that we inherit or God knows what is responsible. I don’t actually think thoughts of suicide are uncommon.