I had my skepticism about therapy. It remains, mostly as the sessions unravel.
And not just psychodynamic therapy. But group pyschodynamic therapy. (Forgive me if I spell one of the ‘therapies’ wrongly. It is going on day three or so without sleep and the fibro fog is properly clogging my brains.)
Anyway, I was just going to say despite my reluctance to do the group thing, I was pleasantly surprised at how I’ve been benefiting from the sessions. I had tried CBT previously and it wasn’t really for me and I also had preconceived notions and fears about being in a group.
I was wrong. So far.
I’ve also found therapy in some other things I was wrong about too. Bad experiences and being bullied in the past have caused me to shy away from going out to group socials. Generally I am not a social butterfly. I’m a hermit that comes out of shell when I think it’s safe.
But I met up with some peeps from church (another area I had big doubts about thanks to past experiences) after the service and I was surprised.
I found acceptance, listening ears, welcoming arms and people I could be myself with without judgement, despite my scars and open doubtfulness.
My therapy has also been music about a higher love. And my daily interactions with the people I meet likely to never see again. But I never forget them. The Irish mister next to me in church commented that he liked my ‘energy’ and the way I moved. I laughed because to me I was just doing any ole thing. Swaying here, lifting hands there, clapping crazily. In the moment I was just happy, even amid crippling depression, I felt happy to be loved. I forget easily when depression hangs me upside down, often, but the music is what reminds me. This message of love is so powerful. It’s all therapy.
Grow something. Blow bubbles. Or just dance like no one’s watching.
Gently hugs my darlins:) x