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Chasing dreams

Photo by Imagination...its just the beginning
Photo by Imagination…its just the beginning

I am a dreamer. A dream chaser. 

I chase them without ceasing. But dear God I am weary.

For everytime I think I am closer to snatching up that dream, to making it happen, it eludes me once again.

It is not easy with fibromyalgia. I am in pain, and my mind is confused. I am struggling to focus, to hold up, to make sense of things. I am squeezed in between enclosing walls by cognitive impairments and fatigue so debilitating it exhausts me just trying to converse or think analytically.

But I must have that dream materialise, so I press on.

I press on and my reward is delay, mountainous obstacles and criticism. Why?

Why is this the fruit of my labour when the wicked succeed?

Already, we with fibromyalgia, depression and chronic illnesses must work so much harder than the healthy to achieve.

This life is such a damn pain. Damn it, damn it, damn it!!!

But if it is the last thing I do, I will succeed.

Neither Fibromyalgia nor detractors will steal my dreams.

I must persuade myself of this.

Gentle hugs 🙂

 

potofcallaloo
Alisha Nurse is a curry-loving writer & comms professional who holds a Master of Arts Degree in Journalism (International) from the University of Westminster, London. Get in touch with any feedback or questions via the contact form in the 'About' section.

4 thoughts on “Chasing dreams

  1. Dreams are important. When I finally decided to go back to school it was something that I felt, and never could quite convey to my husband. I want to finish school, and I believe I will, but when I decided to go back it was more about holding onto the dream and having a goal to work towards, than the degree at the end of the rainbow.

    1. I can totally relate to what you’re saying. I’ve found that having an important, valuable dream or goal to work towards helps to keep me focussed when it is so easy to lose one’s motivation and will to carry on with the illnesses we battle. I know you will finish. Keep on being a dream chaser:) x

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