Taking back dreams

Camdiluv

Some days it’s hard not to feel as though fibromyalgia is pulling your dreams further and further away from you.

Fibromyalgia (fm) can make chores of many things.

For some patients the pain is worse than the exhaustion, while for others like me it’s the other way around. Then there are days they both feed into eachother.

For me it causes debilitating exhaustion which impinges on my ability to effectively and efficiently do everyday things one might take forgranted like combing my hair, having a shower, doing the shopping or even just having a conversation that I really would like to have.

Because it hurts and wipes me out just to hold my arm up to comb my hair, or to stand and shower; or because cognitive impairments compounded by dizziness make it hard for me to focus on a conversation.

I’m out of breath.

I try my best, I really do but if not for fibromyalgia I would work in my chosen field, and I would invest much time and energy. I would do the same for my relationships. And not a moment in my day would go wasted because time goes by so quickly and dreams fade into ‘what ifs.’

What fibromyalgia has done for me

It can be very disconcerting but I would like to find a way to get the most out of life despite fibromyalgia.

And I’ve started by looking for the positives I’ve taken from fm.

The upside is that I am learning to appreciate victories big and small for myself and other people I meet with fm. I take less forgranted.

I appreciate your hair do and that you’re well dressed, and even if you didn’t manage today, you made it out the house. I’m proud that I’m well put together today even though I’m tired as hell!

Although I am still on my journey to accepting the truth, I am more determined than ever. My dreams will not be wasted. I will realise them because I can. Such victories are sweeter because we understand the depth of our sacrifices.

It will be even greater when I fully come to accept the truth.

We are nothing less than conquerors.

Gentle hugs 🙂

 

4 Replies to “Taking back dreams”

  1. Fibro has taught me a great deal about myself and the world. About what is important and what is not. I wrote a post a while back that was a letter to Fibromyalgia, thanking my illness for all that I have learned. To say that many people did not appreciate my sentiments would be an understatement. I’m glad to see that you are looking for the positives you can take away from this challenge life has given you.

    1. Thanks Julie:) I completely relate to what you’ve said. I’m not the most optimistic person but I realise fibro has given many good things to me including friends who I wouldn’t have otherwise met. Regarding all those people who didn’t appreciate your outlook, I think it would take the right perspective to appreciate that good things can actually come from bad circumstances. Hugs:)

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