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Supporting suicidal loved ones

Photo by GrowWear
Photo by GrowWear

Something troubles me.

I keep hearing of people who commit suicide but their loved ones don’t know why.

Everyone conveys condolences. It must be hard on the family they say, yes. How will they carry on, pick up the pieces?

I empathise.

But no one is sure why? Why not?

Is it just me or is something wrong with this picture? At risk of sounding pig headed I’ll pick the latter.

My own experience and knowledge has shown me that many people facing depression will open up to others who genuinely show an interest in their suffering. All you have to do is ask and listen.

I’ve been in the throes of depression, suffocating as the thick fog envelopes me. Somehow I’d mustered the courage to reach out for support from those whose love matter most. Not for sympathy. For support, and love. A listening ear.

Only to be turned away. Perhaps not intentionally. Maybe some don’t know how to cope so they change the subject abruptly. They brush you aside or effectively tell you something like ‘pray harder, some people in the world are suffering more than you, get over it.’

Finding the whys

I understand there is stigma in some societies, and a lack of understanding etc etc. But if your loved one is in pain and you truly care then find out why. Everyone suffering from depression has a why. Find out what it is and then support them.

If you’re not prepared to do that then save your tears.

Depression is a terrifying monster for any person to face on their own in isolation. I always believe most people will reach out for help in some way before throwing in the towel.

Showing support can go a long way, you never know how it might impact on that person’s well-being.

It might be scary for you, but it’s scary for them too.

If you don’t know where to start, then start with a question. Why? Why are you feeling this way? And whatever is said afterwards, promise your love and support and follow through.

If you need help with supporting your loved ones or reaching out for help you can find it here.

Gentle Hugs:)

Please share your concerns and experiences so we can continue to raise awareness. No one should suffer in silence.

potofcallaloo

Alisha Nurse is a curry-loving writer & comms professional who holds a Master of Arts Degree in Journalism (International) from the University of Westminster, London.
Get in touch with any feedback or questions via the contact form in the ‘About’ section.

4 thoughts on “Supporting suicidal loved ones

  1. Funny, I read somewhere that saying “No matter how bad you have it, someone has it worse” is the equivalent of saying ” No matter how good you have it, someone has it better!” LOL! Kinda puts that malarky into perspective.

    1. Lol, yes yes it does! I try saying to people over and over, saying this to someone doesn’t do anything to help their pain. Of course everyone has some issue/problem, but each individual feels his/her own pain. And unless you’ve walked in that person’s shoes, you really cannot justify saying something like that. It is so unempathetic!

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